Written By: Halimah Oluwayemi
Sexual assault has become a rising word these days. For some of us, beyond being a word, we have experienced it, we have campaigned against it and spoken out.
With our fight however, it appears some just do not get what it means. So today, I bring you a definition.
What does sexual assault mean?
Truth is, when we hear the word sexual assault , the first thing that comes to mind is an image of the abuser physically compelling the victim into submission. Though this visual representation isn’t far from what it really is, sometimes this assault goes beyond the physical and tend towards the psychological.
This may involve the use of emotional blackmail on the victim till they result to the last and only available option of consent. In both cases, it is still against the will of the victim.
While the most common form of sexual assault is Rape, this doesn’t make it the only form as there are other ways sexual assault can take place. Examples are Groping (A situation where the abuser fondles the victim private organ, and body roughly or clumsily for sexual pleasures without the victim’s consent).
Another is; Oral mutilation; this is a situation where the abuser uses the mouth of the victim to pleasure his/her sexual organ). Rape which is very common can be carried out using different techniques which most abusers have mastered but might be novel to the innocent victim to be.
These techniques can be categorized as follows;
Physical violence: when abusers physically inflict pain on victims with the intent of decapitation.
Drugging: this is also very common, in this case the abuser makes use of drugs such as Valium, Diazepam, codeine, any ecstasy or aphrodisiac e. t. c. This is done to render the victim incapable to moving.
Blackmail (this method is as old as time where victims are forced to submit their bodies to their abusers to do as they please in order to keep a secret they are trying to hide.).
What are Sexual abusers like you might ask? Sometimes, they are the people we know, the ones who lives amongst us, and even wine and dine with us. They are often the wolves in sheep clothing. It could be that friend you trust, that neighbor you feel is nice, or even that family member you think you can lay down your life for.
Abusers have no specific gender, it’s a pity we’ve labelled the male gender in times past as the only gender liable to instigate an abuse, when unfortunately we’ve been blinded to the feminine abusers allowed to roam about freely.
An abuser is always someone who has an advantage over the other person, either in physical strength, financial/ position power, or in possession of a deep secret.
Who is a potential victim?
A victim can be anyone irrespective of their age or gender. Children, adolescents/teenagers and young adults are often the most liable to fall victim of sexual assaults. Children because they are young and naive, teenagers because of their impatience to prove to the world they are matured, and young adult because they are inexperienced and just learning how to wok the ropes of life. Adults aren’t left out including married couples, though some might find this a bit absurd considering the African culture which believes that a man cannot rape his wife. It is regarded simply as him taking what is rightfully his. On the contrary, it is totally wrong and is considered sexual abuse with her husband being the abuser.
If she doesn’t consent, then her no should totally mean NO.
Parents really need to be careful with who they entrust with the care of their children, because sexual abusers are often the person you least expect.
We should ensure that our teenagers and young adults are properly educated from time to time and advised to always report to an adult when they sense they might be in danger of a sexual assault. Keeping secrets and trying to sort things out themselves especially in the case of blackmail where nude pictures are involved will only put them in deeper trouble.
An awareness against blackmail should be made so as to help innocent victims realize its ok to report even when being blackmailed because blackmailing is against the law and the blackmailer is liable to jail terms. How to survive a sexual assault? If you have ever been a victim of sexual assault either Rape, Groping, or Oral mutilation or you know anyone who has been involved in this types of situation, it’s advisable to speak to a responsible adult about it, and they should be able to guide you into taking appropriate steps. Where available, a psychologist/therapist will be a better option.
Do not on any account think of taking revenge on your abuser without the guidance of a proper law enforcement agent or a member of the judicial system E.G a lawyer.
We hope you enjoyed reading this. Kindly share your thoughts below.
