Has it ever crossed your mind before that the tomboyish nature in girls (esp. teenagers) are more of a survival trait than a choice of sexual orientation?
Several people like to link the tomboyish nature in young girls to be directly related to their sexual orientation being different from what the society expects of the female gender.
This however in my opinion isn’t true at all. Research (documented & personal survey) indicates several reasons why some girl exhibit such nature.
For better clarity, let me explain who a tomboy is? This is a girl who is seen to exhibits characters considered typical of a boy. These characteristics could include wearing masculine clothes, engaging in physical activities considered unfeminine in some culture as in playing roughly, hating pink and dolls, et al.
While some girls limit theirs to wearing masculine boy clothes only, it could also be walking like boys walk or being comfortable with being dirty.
For me, I really can’t remember the exact age some of these traits started, but I came to full consciousness in my early years as a grade pupil. You would find me among boys doing sports seen as boyish, or wearing masculine wears as they were my favorite. I’ve never really thought deeply about the why behind these actions until recently.
Now, I think a few factors contribute to the development of this nature in girls- It is said that a little percentage of girls are exposed to male hormones and as a result exhibit tomboy traits but it is rare.
A larger percentage however is as a result of one or combination of these factors:
Family;
Choice;
Security &
Wanting male privilege.
Being a tomboy has nothing to do with one’s sexual orientation, I see it as a survival trait in girls who:
1. Do not like the feminism image their mothers portrayed while growing up:
– the feminine roles they were subjected to like ‘girls don’t do specific sport’, ‘girls are expected to like dolls and not toy cars’ blah blah. Here’s is something someone highlighted from her own family
“Watching my mother. And I’m like “Wait a minute!” She’s going over to work. She comes home. She’s cooking. She’s washing clothes. She’s washing dishes… Ironing his boxers. But even though my father did cook from time to time… We loved for him to cook just ’cause he could cook! She could cook too, but it was just special when he did it. And then on Saturdays when he would go and bring in crabs…Iit was exciting, watching all of this go on. Meanwhile , my mother’s in there, ironing clothes.
I didn’t like her role. It was always like, “I’m not gonna be waiting on any man!”
– excerpt from a writer
For such girls, through their family dynamics, ‘Weakness’ is all they ever pictured feminism to be. Well, not until they knew better as they grow older and some don’t recover until very late.
2. Who want to enjoy the privileges males are entitled to:
Directly or subtly, a female child is made aware of her inferiority right from birth. Some activities can be done by boys but not girls; Male children are exempted from household chores and babysitting… To them, being a boy means freedom and in a bid to get that, they sought a way out- Being a tomboy
3. Who want to feel secure.
In a society were girls are paws in men Game of Chess. Being a tomboy through and through is a survival trait. Growing up in ‘rough’ areas, some girl throw away their feminity in trash can in order to look safe. Although the identity offers limited protection, it is better a trial than nothing at all.
“if women are prey, and men are predators, then it’s not safe to be a girl” .
– excerpt from a writer
To those girls, “Tom- boyishness” is an adopted coping mechanism to survive predators
And lastly
4. They just feel like it.
Sometimes, it’s who they are. These girls just love boys kind of activities and they have the strength, why not do them. They admire male clothing more; prefer blue to pink; they just have this boyish attitude to things.
In the case of these ones, it’s probably a phase in their lives where they are very energetic, active and curious and adventurous.
And simply want to explore that side of them. Are/ were you ever a Tomboy? How was the segregation so far? How and when has it saved you or otherwise?
I like to hear from you, share your story in the comment box.
#dropsMic
