Written By: Oluwaseyitan Awojobi
A few weekends ago, I was with a friend and we were chatting about several things when she told me about this cool movie she saw. It is titled “To all the boys I ever loved”. I recommend you watch it she said.
The next day, I settled in with my Zobo/Hibiscus tea and croissant, turned my TV on and started watching this movie on Netflix. There are 2 parts to this movie, but I unfortunately started with the 2nd part. This wasn’t entirely a bad decision as I believe I got a piece of the lesson I needed to learn. Better still, it was a part of a puzzle.
In this movie, it was Lilian’s first relationship and it was with a guy who used to date one of the “cool girls” on campus. She was worried, had insecurities and on their first date, she was vulnerable with her boyfriend. She told him this was her first time dating and she didn’t know how to be a girlfriend or how being a girlfriend works. She didn’t know what the rules are or how to “succeed” at it.
Hearing that, it felt like the writer had come into my thoughts and expressed my fears in this movie because this was exactly how I was feeling at the time.
Sometimes, I go through events of life and I wonder, why isn’t there a manual! Why should I have to figure this out. Why can’t I just flip to page 52 of chapter 27 and see the solution to the dilemma I am currently in. This was also at a time when I felt like I really did not know how to be a girlfriend. I have been in many relationships, but I do not know how to be a “perfect girlfriend”.
I turn to God for everything and in this period, I muttered silently knowing God could hear; “If only there was a biblical dating relationship I could read up on and see how they did stuff”. “Yes, there’s Boaz and Ruth but the bible doesn’t necessarily walk us through their actual relationship. So how do I figure this out God?”
Now, If you know me, you’d know after I finish worrying and trying to figure things out by myself, I take it to my Father-God. The I am.
For some reason,(The Holy Spirit), I started thinking of my relationship with God. I know it is far from perfect. One moment I’m in love with God, the next moment, I become an ungrateful child complaining about one thing like He has never done anything good for me. I become so focused on that one thing I forget all the beautiful times we have had together.
Then I thought about the days when it felt like myself and God were chilling and on the same page. The next moment, I’m thinking of how God might just be angry with me even though he has given me his promises and his word.
How do we even make that switch so fast? How do we come to this conclusion that he is angry with us, how do we become ungrateful? How do we suddenly decide that his focus is no longer with us and there is someone else more important than you? DO you realize he threw a party for the prodigal son? Do you realize He sent His son to die for you?
This is a constant battle in our minds but I know that through our tantrums, he remains faithful. In 2nd Timothy, He says even when I am unfaithful, he remains faithful.
Now what’s the point of all of this? Someone has to play God in your relationship with man.
When one partner is complaining and angry, the other has to be patient and listen.
When one is dwelling so much on the bad times, the other is reminding you of all the good times.
When one is drawing away, the other is drawing near and reaching out. When one partner is acting one kind of way, be the person that acts how God acts to his Children
Do you realize if you truly want to love like Jesus, you need to be ready to hurt like him? And trust him to heal your broken heart?
If being hurt is your worry, trust God.
What makes your relationship with God blossom? Daily communion. Genuine, intimate communion with the Father. Giving your heart and the resources he has blessed you with generously and willingly.
In that moment, I realized- I was looking for examples when I had it all along!!.
Your need might be different from mine, but consider your relationship with the Father or the relationship the Father wants us to have with him.
What are your thoughts? Please share in the comment section!
