Written By: Halimah Sanusi
In a world where billions of people co-habit and are expected to interact with each other on a daily basis, Violence can’t be far fetched. And because every individual has a unique perspective about how life situations and scenarios should play out, there are always bound to be misunderstandings which sometimes escalates into violence.
In our society today we are likely to come across at least one of the different forms of violence either directly aimed towards us or indirectly to others who are our aquintances. The forms in which this violence are likely to be exhibited can be either physical which includes self inflicting violence (when individuals cause themselves harm), sexual assault and interpersonal violence ( in the case of partners ,spouses, child abuse, normally another person physically abusing a person.) or it can also be psychological, majorly caused by emotional trauma or neglect. In as much as violence isn’t a strange topic to us, the solution and how to put a stop to it has constantly been on the priority lists of societies and the world at large. Which is the reason for several government driven organizations and a lots of non governmental organizations clamouring for peace, through summits, and all manner of awareness but despite all this in place the world is yet to experience the peace it truly deserves. So, the big question remains, what really is the cause of violence? Why do humans feel the need to result to violence? and above all how can it be curtailed?
Like we’ve established earlier, Violence originates from misunderstandings, frustration from the lack of been heard or acknowledged and lack of empathy. Take for example a person whose life isn’t bringing forth anything positive, and out of frustration proceeds to take his anger out on another human (could be a wife or a child) who happens to be a victim of the heavy blow life has dealt him. Or a person trying to establish a point which he feels is important to him while the other party finds its amusing or something not worth giving a thought, this person will feel aggravated and will result to doing anything he can to prove a point. We can play the scenarios in different forms but the outcome will always be the same. Which is the reason we need an antidote to this whirlpool of rage capable of wiping out an entire race or society.
There are some set of behavioral acts that can serve as catalyst for change in respect to violence if we are willing to put an effort to it. As the the popular saying goes, Rome wasn’t built in a day, which is the same when it comes to changing our views to starve the act of violence rather than feed it. We can start by trying out this simple day to day lifestyles which includes,
Showing empathy : This goes along with the old saying, loving your neighbor as yourself. Putting yourself in other people’s shoes before acting the way you do towards them can go a long way in making the society a better place. Before you act or react play the reverse scenarios in your head, and wonder if you would want to be at the receiving end of the pain you are about to inflict on another? And Since the answer you’ll likely come up with will definitely be a no, it’s better you let go of your initial plans to inflict such pain on another. Remember hurt people, hurt people, when you damage a person’s mind you’ve given them the ticket to do same unto another and the ripple effect continue till infinity.
Proper Communication : often times we mistake arguments for communication, hence the need to add proper to the word communication. We need to bear it at the back of our mind Wise men don’t argue they simply communicate. You can not exchange words and ideas without paying attention to what the other person is saying, it is not surprising to see that most people listen just to reply and not to understand. When someone is passing across a message it’s best when you let your defence down and be more open minded towards the point the other person is making and if there is something he/she is saying that you do not agree with, the appropriate way to correct the other person is with the use of facts and evidence while passing your message across in a non condescending tone. This way you have avoided arguments that can lead to saying things you both will later regret and at the same time starved the urge for violence.
Self control :This goes in hand with anger management, it is the ability to hold back from acting out before you think. Though situations can spring up surprises at us and we find ourselves responding to it in a manner at which we never intended to, sometimes it may be due to provocation from another person or the situation it’s self, but at all times the best thing to do when we realize we are going out of line is to put ourselves in check and try to get ourselves out of the situation or the environment at large. We can also try the old counting technique of counting from at least numbers one to ten before giving response to a provocating question.
The Ignoring skills : We will agree that silence is always golden when dealing with fools or those with big mouths who doesn’t just know when to shut it up. This skill has been an old faithful, and has gotten people out of lots of dramatic situations. When someone come at you acting all silly or petty, ignoring them is the last thing they expect and replying them will be a very big mistake on your path, cos they will simply drag you down to the gutters with them. So, the best thing to do in this type of scenario is to avoid them by not giving them the attention they so much seek.
As we mark today’s world’s non violence day I hope we will try our best to avoid situations that will put us in the cross fire of violence.
