All it took to turn my happy filled day into a brooding one was a scroll through a social media page. An old friend reached out to me after a very long time on social media. From her page on Instagram it was obvious she was in life’s favorite corner, everything seemed so perfect; her marriage, her children, to be honest her life was a replica of the movie stars we read about in Hollywood fashion. She has that kind of luxury thanks to the generational wealth her husband inherited. Was I pained, who am I deceiving if I say I wasn’t, of course I felt a big knot in my tummy. My thankful and appreciative self became angry and bitter over what my childhood friend has achieved, oh how did she get so lucky?
There were so many other rhetorical questions which kept running through my disturbed mind. Everything I’ve achieved looked like a mere stone throw compared to the hills and mountain top my friend has conquered. I totally forgot about my other friends who can only dream of getting to the position I’ve attained not to talk of the millions of people out on the street who can’t afford a full day meal. I felt so bitter and brooded for several hours, my day was ruined and there was absolutely no doubt about that. I looked around my house and suddenly my home felt too small for me to live in comfortably. As I wallowed in my foolishness not realizing the deep kiss my emotion was having & how envy was turning into a full blown affair with jealousy, my phone rang and shifted my attention. The caller was unknown so I hesitated to pick at first, but on the fourth ring I did, behold! talk of the devil; my wealthy friend was at the other end of the line, her hello sounded so rich and subtle, adding more salt to my open wounds.
She introduced herself confidently and with class which I returned with a well rehearsed laugh in order to mask my jealousy. We had exchanged numbers earlier when she sent me a private message, but my being lost in thought didn’t give me the opportunity to save her number before she called. We spoke for almost an hour. As our conversation got deeper into family crisis and issues she burst into tears as she narrates her ordeal, she had been gravely ill with cancer and has less than a year to live. But she lacks real friends around her, she knows her present friends are only acquaintances who are there for her because of how wealthy she is. She needed a real friend to talk to and keep in touch with before she passes on, hence the reason she reached out to me.
After that phone conversation, I fell on my knees with my palm flat on my face, I couldn’t fight back the tears that have now gathered to run several tracks down my cheeks.
Here I was, being envious and jealous and almost loosing my mind over what someone else has, forgetting no one evades life’s hurdle no matter how affluent or poor one is. I may not have a private yacht like my friend does, but my health is a hundred percent, I never realized how rich I was until that moment.
Because we live in a world filled with technology frenzy with the internet and lots of social media applications where only the perfect pictures makes it out, the ones with blemishes are instantly deleted or never posted. We need to always remember that just like this social media pages, our pages in life differs. We all have different sides to post, different people we follow as those that follow us differs.
Being jealous will only leave you sad and bitter over what isn’t as perfect as you think; rather channel your energy to the positive things in your life and find contentment in what is yours.
Written By: Halimah Sanusi
