Growing up as an African child, in the era of years not too far from now, there were a lot of things our indigenous cultures considered taboos. We were neither allowed to speak of them nor discuss them, these were the instructions of the elders and at that time they were always considered right no questions asked. Among such forbidden topics is the issue of rape, and despite the fact it often happens in one out of ten homes, it’s still wasn’t an issue anyone would dare to raise or want to talk about. Why?….. This is the question every sane person will surely ask, Because it’s hard to phantom why something so tragic with the capability of ruining the victims mental state of mind would be considered unworthy of a discussion at its least. Well, the answer to that question has its stem deeply rooted in culture.
Let’s take a closer look at the African culture, when we’ve taken away it’s lovely festivals and stripped it off it’s brightly colored antics, then and only then can we see the can of worms eating it’s people deep disguised as traditions that are bound to be followed. In truth they are just mere rules made by egocentric men who feel they are the superior gender and can run the world as they please, while they regard their women as simple home makers whose opinion doesn’t count. These cultural setting had given room for rape and allowed it to thrive for so long, with the feminine gender being the major victim.
In my culture when a girl child becomes a victim of rape, the mother tries her best to protect her daughter by telling her to remain silent about it to avoid being stigmatized. And the abuser? Well he moves around like nothing happens since he’s sure no one would dare to report, because the moment the victim opens her mouth to speak, it becomes her words against his which he will blatantly deny by telling everyone listening it either a lie or that it was consensual, and if she say it isn’t then what prove does she have. Only in few cases do we see people who are ready to serve as witnesses against these abusers, but in all scenarios played the victim still ends up facing the greater loss because she is then regarded as a broken pot, a condemned item to be discarded. No young man would want to ask for her hand in marriage which is every mother’s greatest fear for her daughter, and such women are frowned at in the society I hail from, this obviously isn’t right it’s disheartening that the abusers walks freely and end up getting married to women of their choice while the victim is left alone to bear the trauma without justice being served.
It was a welcomed innovation when Africa finally joined the era of civilization and decided to get acquainted with the 21st century mentality on how to develop the society by creating an environment where women’s interest are considered in making rules and regulations that governs the society. But despite this new development things doesn’t seem So different from how it used to be, most times when we take three steps forward we end up being dragged four steps backwards. In recent news about a week ago, women in the northern region of Nigeria decided to call out their abusers on social media which they tagged “Arewa me too”, we all celebrated the achievement as they finally found their voice and had seized from being the timid women people had always known them to be. But our Joy for them was short lived when one of the women who spear headed the me too campaign was arrested at her office by the special anti robbery squad arm of the Nigerian police. Some said it was done to oppress her because some of the accused were influential men in our society while some said the authorities had their reasons. But what the truth really is only time will tell.
Will we stand by and watch this unacceptable act continue, or we rather look for a solution and quit our daily complains hoping all will be better. Fortunately the solution isn’t something far fetched, it’s something that can be achieved if we as the older generation to come can change the orientation and mindset of the younger generation coming behind us. We have an obligated role to play in Making them understand that a woman is meant to be respected and not a play thing for men, and that her opinion also matters at all times even in the issue of sex and who she choose to give her body to. Charity they say begins at home, how about we raise our boys to be diligent men, let’s shun the culture that makes them superior to their female siblings. That way we will end up having a generation of responsible men who respects a woman and have the will to protect her at all times. This I believe is the long lasting solution to our over aged problems of not just rape but other society vices culture had brought upon us.
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Written By: Halimah Oluwayemi
