An Inside perspective of the Outside
Isn’t it quite funny how one is expected to tell in a few minutes what took the whole of your living on earth to learn?
I came into full consciousness of life a few months after I turned fifteen. Before then, life was lived in a perfect triangle with no sense of how time and season went: it was like those years flew by in haste. Of course, I was aware of my family, going to school, making merry during the festivities but that was as far as life goes.
Deep down I knew I wanted more but with what model? I wanted to travel. To keep journals, engage in typical ‘boyish’ activities, I wanted to explore and own my space. I wanted friendship but not in the way they were portrayed.
All of those look simple now but they were impossible ambitions. Well, except for sport which was believed to be a mere interest that would leave with time and journaling; all writings were seen as school’s assignment but the rest were simply unnecessary or too much.
So I stopped thinking and began to silently question why I didn’t fit in. Why I couldn’ t be like the other people. Although I held on to journaling and limited my sporting to football given we had a few girls play then-I was allowed but gradually those yearnings were suppressed.
Here I am, almost a decade after, those cravings haven’t left. In actual fact, they have become stronger and in reality have laid the core foundation of my existence.
Worthy of note that I changed ambition more than a couple time just to fit among my peers and not be added to the popular high school tag ‘NFA’ but odds were against and I still didn’t get in but truth is there’s no regrets because I would have still come back to do what I do now.
Of all my firsts, my virgin real travel experience was when I turned 16 and went with my mother to Lagos. I was thrilled inside out, bubbles, butterflies and all.
And Just the other day, I went home and was going through my books just where they were neatly stacked (yes, they had to be, no one dared maltreat my books). Got to the jotter segments and while flipping through the pages, I couldn’t believe the words scribbled by the younger me.
Then, it dawned on me that our core values are in the minute things we find ourselves do unconsciously.
My name is Taiwo Abdulrasaq, a writer with focus in content creation and poetry, a travel enthusiast and a Booky. I am Human. I am kind.
I wish I could tell you all you need to know about me in one piece but words fail me. Moreover, I’m still learning about myself too. Each layer unfolds is a revelation and the experience is always new and overwhelming.
Here is one question I’ll leave you with though: when you tell the world your story, what emotions do you wish to evoke?
“Whatever you feel at the moment.
Whatever you find happiness in.
Whatever your heart craves
Even though you know no one who’s model the role yet
Build yourself up; your clique is out there somewhere.”
(Excerpt from Chronicles of the Misfit by Taiwo Abdulrasaq)
