Child Adoption In Africa; The Truth and The Myth!

Adopting a child is still a strange term for a lot of Africans as we are still trying to navigate through the idea that adoption is not a taboo. You are encouraged instead to ‘have your own’.

In a typical African home, when a new individual joins a nuclear family; he or she is seen either as an extended family or a househelp. Why is adoption such a forbidden topic in the African culture? Let’s take a look at some of the reasons;

THE CULTURAL FACTOR

Most African cultures have a lot of emphasis on the role of mothers in the formation of a family unit. Once a bride has “entered” her husband’s room, everyone is expecting the cry of a child nine months afterwards. If this doesn’t happen, it leads to unnecessary pressure, stigmatization and isolation by the community. If you are watching the current season of Skinny Girls in Transit, you might probably understand this.

Coupled with this, there seems to be a level of importance placed on a woman who has given birth to her own children rather than a woman who has had difficulties in conceiving.

In the book Joys of Motherhood by Buchi Emeta, Nnu Ego the protagonist is sent out of her first husband’s home because she tried to breastfeed her co-wife’s baby. The marriage to the man of her dreams had not produced any child but another woman who was given to her husband in marriage gave birth nine month later. Nnu Ego, who was on the brink of losing it all was tempted to breastfeed the child in order to experience what it felt like to be a mother. She was caught, beaten and divorced. Sad right?

Another story is Efuru by Flora Nwapa, whose marriage to her second husband did not produce any child. She had lost her first husband to another woman and her baby to death. Efuru, a kind and beautiful woman was made to suffer in the hands of her second husband and the co-wife he married until an interesting incident helped her to get free.

The last story I will cite is Behind the Clouds by Ijeoma Okoye. This story was very typical in its portrayal of what woman faces in the society when she has not birthed a child. Ije Apia though beautiful and homely did not escape the stigma attached to the absence of a child she birthed.

These novels were written years ago but the attitude towards infertility, birthing children is still a very closed circuit. Most people rarely talk about adopting a child, neither is it encouraged actively.

CRIMINAL ADOPTION

Despite the lack of local awareness on adoption, we still see cases where “adoption” is done in an illegal manner with the participants creating an excuse they deem appropriate for their act.

Some of these practices include buying infants (with or without the consent of the birth mother), kidnapping infants (from the hospital), participating in ‘baby making factories’ amongst others.

All of these are also done without the permission of local authorities and governing bodies in charge of adoption. The child grows up to call the “illegal parents’ ‘ mother and father even though the process was illegal.

THE STIGMA ISSUE

There are several reasons why people go through this illegal process, but the most common is that they do not want the society to know that they have a child that they did not birth. For them, it is better if everyone thought the child(ren) was their naturally birthed child than for the society to know that they came through adoption. 

This still stems down to the issue of validation of importance as a family unit.

DEALING WITH THE ISSUES ON GROUND

Our goal is to  encourage you (the reader) to have a better mindset towards adoption and at the same time create awareness on the issues of adoption. Some of the mindsets attached with adoption are:

Mindset like:

• I must birth my own child
• I cannot take care of a child I did not birth
• Giving birth makes me a woman or 
• Giving birth makes me a mother or a father
• What will people say?
• What if I never have my child
• Etc

Instead the focus should be:

• I can provide for a child that does not have a home. I can become their home.
• I can be a mother to anyone. Maternal instinct is a thing of the heart, not everyone that births a child is a mother at heart
• I can give a child a future
• I am creating something bigger than myself that is beyond what people will say
• I can give love and receive love 

The focus should be on a cause greater than ourselves: Giving love to those who need it.

In the same line as dealing with the issues on ground, the next step would be to look into some of the legal processes involved in adopting a child in some African countries.

In the coming weeks, we would cover the legal processes for adoption in some African countries.
Based off what you have just read, what are your thoughts on adoption, what adoption experiences have you had? Share with us below.