Brides in Boxes- Love in Death?

Written By: Halimah Oluwayemi

The night was moonless and dark, with not even a single star dotting the sky. Or maybe they knew the evil that was about to take place, so they decided to hide their face behind the thick dark clouds to serve as no witness to it.

Silence ruled the night, well not until Aderonke’s scream pierced through; alerting the neighbors and making hearts skip in the comfort of their homes. It wouldn’t be the first but it sure sounded like the last, neighbors peep through their windows as several apartments started switching on their light bulbs, those who had each other’s contact tried communicating on what to do, decisions and contemplations took over their routine night rest. Who will be bold enough to go to the Williams residence, the ones who had tried to interfere in the William’s domestic squabbles in the past have had horrible tales to tell. Some said he chased them out with a cutlass, while some said he once released his huge dogs to attack them, but they know something has to be done and involving the police seems to be the only reasonable option left of the lots.

As the neighbors were trying to finalize their decisions over a conference call, Aderonke’s life force seems to be slipping away from her body, her two teenage boys who had known best to stay away  when their father gets angry, defied all orders and rushed to their mother’s side where she laid soaked in her own blood, with a big gash on her temple. They saw what happened, they knew what their father had done, he had hit her on the head severally with one of her merit awards, the same thing that fueled his rage, she was due to collect another by the morrow which will bring her award collections to a total to twenty in less than five years.

He could not handle it, of course when he gave her the permission to work he hadn’t expected such swift success, he had mocked her then about her being a home maker who knows nothing about the corporate world but there she was, proving him wrong with every step she takes up the success ladder.

She kept moving up while he had not gotten a promotion in almost ten years, so he decided to channel his inner fears and cowardice into accusing his wife of infidelity, telling anyone who cares to listen that she gets intimate with her male bosses to get her promotions and recognitions. Although the beatings and emotional manipulations had been going on for years discreetly within the four walls of their bedroom, it got worse the moment she joined the corporate world force. It’s like he turned it up several notch, often taking pleasure in embarrassing and hitting her both at home and in public. And now the monster who they called father sits in the living room looking at their mother as her breathe slows down rapidly. They begged him to do something about their mother’s condition, but he refused saying she deserved what she got for being an unfaithful wife. Aderonke died holding her children hands, A trauma that will never depart from their memories. The boys eyed their father with so much disgust and were quick to open the gate when the neighbor’s with the police came knocking.

The Williams residence was filled with neighbor’s and police officers that night, and up until midnight no one dared to leave, in concern for the children. They all knew the man was responsible and had obviously threatened the children to keep quiet about it while he stuck to his false tales of her falling and hitting her head. Family members flooded the compound, they had heard the news before day break since bad news travel fast.

Aderonke’s mom was the first to arrive. As she reigned curses on her daughter’s husband, she beats her chest as if punishing herself for something she had done, she kept on saying repeatedly that she allowed the monster to kill her daughter. She explained to the police officers and witnesses how her daughter had complained to her several times about her husband’s beatings and maltreatments but for each time she complains to her, she kept on scolding her to endure and not to even dare leaving her husband’s house to become a divorcee. For society frowns against a woman leaving her husband’s house to live alone or with her parents, as it is considered a big dishonor to the bride’s family. But in pain and regrets she wished she had been bold enough to defy societal standards.

Lots of women in Africa and all over the world especially in regions that are rich in culture and traditions tend to go through lots of domestic violence and are forced to keep quiet about it. Family members see it as a normality, some even tell their women its part of the experience one encounter as a married woman, they encourage them to wear their scars as wealth of experience. This silence culture of domestic violence has left lots of brides ending up in boxes, and six feets below the ground. Aderonke isn’t the first and she wouldn’t be the last if we don’t encourage women to take a stand against their abusers. If there is one thing my years of Marital experience has taught me, it’s the fact that domestic violence in the home is as a result of ignored or not properly managed mental health issues on the part of the abuser, because how else can one explain putting out your frustrations by inflicting pain on another human being.

Aderonke’s story is not a fiction it’s a true life story which is aimed to inspire us to do our bits in avoiding the possibilities of having our brides ending up in boxes.